Dixbert - The Blog

1/26/2001

Everything is working this morning, even a demo site of the product my company makes, It wasn't working when I came in this morning at 5:30. When I get in that early, there is generally either no one else here, or maybe one other loser that doesn't like to sleep in. When I walked through the door this morning, there were 4 people here. Two had been here since 9:00 pm last night, one had arrived about an hour prior to me, and the fourth was our CIO. I don't know when he got here, he is mysterious that way. The demo site is going to be shown to a MAJOR potential client, I won't say who, but they have commercials during NFL football games. I won't say any names, because it isn't really my place to congratulate people on behalf of their superiors, but I will say that I enjoy solving problems with competent people. I doubt that any thanks will be garnered by any of the people that were here this morning, but if any of you read this, and you know who you are, good job.
Alan 7:20 AM | 0 comments | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button

1/22/2001

The web cam at www.dixbert.com is not working today. Funny how electronic devices get all cranky when you can't plug them in because you left the power cord at home. Story of my life though. Seriously. If you don't provide for the needs of others, they certainly aren't going to provide for you. It is actually a good thing that we don't all have power cords that need to be plugged in twenty-four hours a day. There would be a lot of people just standing around, waiting for someone to plug them in. That is what I see a lot of these days. People standing around waiting to be plugged in. Okay, maybe they aren't actually just standing there, they are moving, they are still breathing. But they lack the participartory status of a "plugged in" individual. They are not actively participating in life, especially the lives of others. People go through the motions everyday, and they look back at the end of the day and can't quantify what they did to improve society, let alone their own lot in life. They don't remember who they helped, let alone who they even talked to. The reason they don't remember who they helped because chances are they didn't help anyone. Often these people work in jobs with the term "customer service" as part of the title. I heard a story about a person that was rear-ended on the freeway. Almost no damage to her car at all, but the person who hit her did a significant deal of rearranging of her vehicle's front end. The driver who hit her was beside herself with worry. Huge deductable, bad driving record, parent's car, whatever. She was near tears. The person who was hit, and was not even at fault, immediately wrote out a check for $500 and handed it to the distraught driver. She handed it back, saying she couldn't accept it, as the accident was her fault. The caring person simply told her to keep it and drove away. Talk about having an impact on society. And it doesn't have to be money. Think about it.
Alan 8:06 AM | 1 comments | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button

1/17/2001

Today was the second full day I got to spend as the solo caregiver for my three boys, Lucas 4, Samual 1, and Caleb 4 wks. Last Wednesday, I was fearful and full of apprehension about all three having a meltdown at the same time. Fortunately for all of us, the only occurances of multiple meltdowns left one child watching in utter amazement, with hands over ears, as the other two raised the decibel level to that of the flight deck of an aircraft carrier during landing quals. There were a few horrendous crashes of toys against walls, heads against doors and the like, but mostly it was just hunger, tiredness or boredom overcoming one or two kids for a brief period of time. Today was much different. All three boys were relatively quiet. The older two played with toys, each other or me and were content. The youngest complained only mildly when he approached the end of the three hour stretch in which he either sleeps or quietly contemplates his dependent existance. I am sure that if he could talk, he would be saying "Hey, I really prefer to lie on my tummy, could you come here and flip me over, pops?" We even ventured out to McDonald's today for lunch. I was pretty impressed with myself when I managed the armored car seat containing the less than 9 pound baby, the 14 pound toddler and the tray of Happy Meals all the way from the order counter to the playland. Mom's with 1 or 2 kids marvelled at the behavior of my three boys as the chased their minions around and through the maze of fun provided by Ronald and company. I suppose once all three of my boys are fully mobile, I will be in chase mode as well, but today it was nice to at least get a couple fries and a chicken nugget or two into them before we had to head home to bottle-feed the little one. We survived so far, it is nearly dinner time now. I think now that I understand how hard it is to be a stay-at-home parent, and I have a great deal of respect for those that do it more than 1 day in a row. I am ready to go back to work though.
Alan 5:34 PM | 0 comments | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button

1/15/2001

I have only two words to describe the horror that was the 41-0 destruction of the Minnesota Vikings. "We sucked." Fortunately for me, this blog will be the last time I use the word "we" when speaking of the Minnesota Vikings. Like so many fans during recent years, I became emotionally involved with the team's successes and failures. The magnitude of failures over the last few seasons has led me to the only conclusion possible in order to save my sanity - I am disowning the team. If it were up to me, and I had the financial means, I would build them a brand new stadium in San Antonio and help them pack.
In my father's middle years, the Vikings had seasons that led them through the playoffs and gave reason to host 3 superbowl parties. The Viking's let him down each time. Just in the last three years, the Vikings have had two opportunities to at the very least, participate in the Super Bowl. Both of those opportunities were blown due to the incompetent leadership of a coach who's legacy will remain as the biggest post-season choke artist in the history of the NFL. Like my father before me, I will no longer subject myself to the anger and disappointment caused by a football team that either can't take a 15-1 record to the Superbowl or can't manage to defeat a team that was labeled "the worst team in the history of the NFC to go to an NFC championship game." Not only could they not beat them, they couldn't even score a field goal. Their abysmal defense only forced one punt by the Giants the entire game. I guess I will shift my energies to something else that Minnesota has to offer; the NHL. Go Wild.
Alan 8:02 AM | 0 comments | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button

1/12/2001

Here is another wow. How much of a time miser must a person have to be to bring a hardcover book into the men's room so that you can stand at the urinal and read? I have no idea how good the book would have to be for me to feel obligated to read from it with every single spare second that I am not gainfully employed with a task that prohibits the act. Actually, to me, taking a leak would be an activity that prohibits reading, at least more than one page. I am not one of those people that can hold the book and turn the page with the same hand. The visuals that I am creating here are probably more than you wish to deal with, so I will change the subject.

There was a new reason code entered into our software testing database program. Reason codes shorten the description of a general problem, making categorizing the database easier and making it easier to search. The new code was PEBKAC. This code stands for "Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair". I guess "user error" is becoming less politically correct than it has been.
Alan 1:01 PM | 0 comments | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button

1/11/2001

Wow. There are still soooo many people that don't understand 4-way stops. Come on. How much common sense does it take to realize that it is ok for two cars to be moving at an intersection at the same time? As long as they don't HIT each other, it would be ok to have three cars moving at the same time. Think of this; at some TWO-LANE 4-way stops, it is possible to have up to SIX cars, all moving through the intersection at the same time with no need to wonder if you have your insurance card in the glove box. I know some peoples hard-wired little brains just threw a rod. That's what happens when I try to shift the tightly held paradigms of morons without pressing hard enough on the clutch. So one of my next net projects will be some diagrams to show you how safe a 4-way stop can be. Plus you won't feel like you are taking advantage of the situation when you go straight through the intersection WHILE (and I mean while in terms of "at the same time") as the guy across from you is turning right!

-dixbert

This link has some text - but doesn't completely illustrate my point. Besides, the diagrams are necessary due to the fact that I fear the people I am trying to reach may be bordering on illiteracy.

Driving in the USA and Canada - Four Way Stops
Alan 7:24 AM | 0 comments | | AddThis Social Bookmark Button